Only A Half Life
Jyotsna Trivedi
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INTRODUCTION
“Only a half life” is an outstanding poem written by a Gujarati poetess Jyotsna Trivedi. Being a poetess, she has contributed through her poems to Gujarati Literature. ‘Only a half Life’ is a Gujarati poem which is later on translated into English language. ‘Only a Half Life’ describes the innermost feeling of the poetess. Being a female, she has to undergo several bitter experiences and those experiences are briefly described by Jyotsna in the present poem.
SUMMARY AND ANALYSIS
The world is a male dominated world. In this male dominated world the males are always given importance in a superior place. Compared to the male the females have not been treated properly and at the same time they have not been given equal status. The God has no difference between male and female, but it is this male dominance which has brought inequality and injustice to the female.
A woman lives many lives in one life but none is complete in itself. The present poem by Jyotsna Trivedi narrates her life story. Life of a woman can broadly be divided into two halves. The first half is spent at her parents’ house and second at her husband’s house. She would often hear everyone that her real home is that of her husband’s. The girl eagerly waits for that moment to come. The moment of marriage, getting the man of her dreams is realized but she finds that there is no difference in the life there too. The place and people have only changed. The story of the poetess very much resembles the story of any girl and thus has universal appeal.
“ It is as if
I have lived
Only a half-life”
From opening only, it seems that the poetess is appraising her life and is not so happy with the way the time has gone. There is the tone of regret in the first stanza,which indicates that she has not lived life to its full.
She becomes nostalgic and recalls the days of childhood. She remembers how she used to catch butterflies in the school and tried to hold the crystal waters of Porbandar sea in her fist. With all this fun and frolic, she had no idea when her childhood was dropped off like a pearl into the sea.
Having spent her childhood, she became an adolescent. There was the constant flow of do’s or don’ts. They were not to come home late in the evening, to speak and stand in a certain manner. Thus , she grew up listening and following a long list of don’ts. The following lines reveal her point of the process of a socialization she has gone through.
“I grew up
attending to the don’ts.”
Then she recalls the advent of her life-partner and how her life started in Mumbai. The way she believed everything that her mother said in her, she also believed what her husband said her. Like any other girl she too married with lots of dreams in her eyes and expecting many changes to occur. However, like the dreams of every girl, her dream too shattered as she did not find any change in her life. Her feelings are revealed in the following lines when she says:
“Porbandar and Mumbai;
How identical the two halves of the story!”
Both the cities are situated on the sea shore. At Porbandar too, she had to do household work, here too it was obvious. The poetess feels that she has lived her life in bits and pieces. She is again brought back in her present life. She says that she will now stand in queues in Mumbai for the rest of her life. She is constantly living her life by stitching thread. There she is helped by her husband and son Pinku. Both her husband and son have a busy life. The poetess is again reminded of the school days she used to enjoy. She remembers the time when she used to be so engrossed in her dreamy world of her husband and house that she mentally remained absent in class. Today, she assesses the worth of her action. Today, having got a husband and house of her own, she realizes the difference between imagination and reality. She does not find any kind of resemblance in her perception of bliss of a marriage life and the reality that she experienced. The poetess states…
“And when i was small
then sitting in the classroom
thinking of husband and house
how many classes…….
I had bunked!”
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CONCLUSION
The poem is an expression of regret of a woman that is subject to a Life, whose course is decided by others, her ‘well-wishers’. At parents’ house, the life is lived as per the wishes of her parents and at husband’s as per his directions. Either she is known by her father’s name or by her husband’s name. At no place, she has had a chance to fulfill all her desires or a chance to be on her own. The pain of half identity and disillusionment is sketched sensitively by Jyotsna Trivedi. Though there are family members, a woman feels alienated.